Thande

Thande
Longstanding member. Well, at least by offtopic: New Board standards. He is also offtopic:VulcanTrekkie45's AH mentor.

On his first week in the forum, he inadvertently erased the whole of Italy from history while fighting in a Battle Royale. Then GBW accused him of stampeding elephants through South Korea. Nowadays he has a reputation for burning down people's houses, killing their families and thus turning them into revolutionary leaders.

Claims to Fame
Thande slipped under the radar when he first joined, which may be something to do with the fact that offtopic:IronYuppie and offtopic:Othniel joined in the same space of time. He was thus never labelled with n00b status.

He originates from Yorkshire and, as is traditional on the Board, is a violently nationalistic regionalist. He commonly gives his location as 'The Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire'. This also gave rise to the board political party, the Yorkshire Socialist Party. Thande came second to Leo Caesius in the 2006 Presidential election. In the 2007 elections, Thande became one of the Vice Presidents of the Board, a position he retained after the 2008 elections. Due to Midgard's departure, he became the de facto the only VP, which in turn meant he became Acting President when Sargon became absent in early March.

Thande is the Board's official Chemist, occasionally quoting chemistry jargon. He commonly recounts the story of him accidentally smashing a glass pipette into his finger and thus injecting himself with a vanadium compound.

Thande is known as a prolific writer, both on the offtopic:AH.com Series and his own series of timelines:ISOT novels. He is also a regular on the alternate history:Map Thread.

He also founded the offtopic:Unfortunate Thread Juxtapositions Thread and the offtopic:Coolness Polls, and started the offtopic:Heterosexual Reconquista. He invented the alternate history:Universal Colour Scheme, but his version has long since been superseded by the work of others (see main article).

Thande was also chosen as the 2007 AH.COM Person of the Year, for his entertainment of all users, and his many contributions to the board.

He is a Christian socialist who nonetheless tends to steer clear of the religious and political debates on the board, except when the other British members require another voice to support the merits of universal healthcare. He is generally opposed to the EU, but elevates this opposition to a cartoonish level in order that political debates on this issue do not become too bitter. He, along with MrP, also engages in P-rants about the offtopic: British Education System, political correctness, health and safety, and other topics which plague modern life. Thande, despite his best efforts, cannot resist a P-gah when Americans get Celtic stuff wrong.

His List of Enemies is extensive and for some reason seems to include most of the animal kingdom. See Thande - List of Enemies.

As Fell cannot open his mouth without mentioning, Thande is fond of wearing elasticated trousers.

Almost all photos of Thande that exist depict him as being about to stab the cameraman.

Recently Thande has proclaimed himself King of Sigs. It is widely expected that Landshark will sweep down from the North to put the odious pretender in his place as he's not having that sort of thing from a bloody student!

Thande has also appointed himself Gahher-in-chief to American and European mindless overquoting of the same three Monty Python sketches, a role which Flocc previously filled.

Blaming Thande
But Thande is most famous for the practice known as offtopic:Blaming Thande. After initially resisting the Blame movement, he eventually threw in the towel and began supporting it himself.

Pronunciation
In English Thande is pronounced to rhyme with hand or land, and with a soft initial th as in the word 'thing'. The name is originally Trehóritan and in that context is pronounced with a soft final schwa, but this should not be attempted in the English pronunciation. Got that?

Causes Championed
* Sega in its glory days (together with Wanderlust)

* J.R.R. Tolkien, especially his more obscure works (see Tolkienist Cabal)

* Christian socialism, in particular applications such as the National Health Service

* Yorkshire nationalism

* Preventing foreigners from mindlessly overquoting Monty Python

* Britain's independence from the European Union (and the independence of anyone else who feels like it, too, such as Susano with Germany)

* (Related) The recognition of British identity as being distinct from, and apart from, Europe (with an option on Scandinavia as well)

* The imperial system of measurements, pre-decimal coinage, and similar.

Nicknames
* Thandie

* Alice

* Captain Chemistry/Chemi-Man

* References to the fact that he looks like Harry Potter * Thandeykins

* Mr. Stabby McStabberson

* Nearly-Doctor Thande

* Ol' Elastic

Catchphrases
* //(After someone describes a plan and finishes with 'what could possibly go wrong?')// "Cut to the funeral..."

* "Daring Commando Raid™?"

* "Don't make me come over there and hurt you."

Noted Works
See: **offtopic:Complete Works of Thande**

Baldian Smileyology
According to [|Baldian Smileyology], Thande is associated with the :rolleyes: smiley.

Thande Studies
Because of the British Education System being what it is, it is now possible to obtain a Degree in Thande Studies from the University of the North Circular (formerly Neasden Polytechnic). The course is summarised below by Sargon:

//Some terms (Thandeisms) associated with Thande, the inspiration of which should be obvious, (but the root is indicated anyway for any dummies around here)://

//**Thandetastic** - used when wishing to praise Him for something great He's come out with (from Fantastic)//

//**Thandelicious** - generally used when wanting to say how juicy and amazing He is (usually used by offtopic: kilngirl from Delicious)//

//**Thandislam** - religion based upon Him and the Five Pillars of which make up the Faith of His Blame (from Islam)//

//**Thandalism** (act of) - something that He can be Blamed for (from Vandalism)//

//**Thandetiago** - seemingly derived from His part of the heterosexual re-conquista (from Santiago)//

//**Thandestone** - stones for blame thrown at troublemakers and disbelievers, made up of Thande, and thus containing Blame that can be hurled at people, at the same time invoking, involving and Blaming Him (from Sandstone) //

//Remember that Thande sounds like 'hand', the last 'e' is silent (except possibly in Thandelicious).//

//You Shall Know Him by His Name, and Blame Be Upon Him//

AH.com Series
Thande is the 'Ship's Chemist' on the offtopic:AH.com Ship. He does not appear in every episode. He is usually to be found as part of a double-act with Torqumada (not based on anything from real life, but necessitated by the fact that they are the ship's two science wonks), arguing about the best way to cure this week's virus.

He recently acquired the catchphrase "Daring Commando Raid™?" - an all-purpose suggestion referencing a running joke in Moonstruck.

In other fiction
Thande is the Snape character in offtopic:Luaky Commer but does not appear in offtopic:AH.COM WARS, except in a breaking-the-fourth-wall way as the director. This role was expanded in the prequel films, as Thande was finding it hard to parody them without doing direct jokes about Lucas' direction. He now appears as a megalomaniac out of touch with reality, assisted by various cameramen and production team members, who is convinced that his new prequels are //so// much better than the originals.

In the Pirate Novella, Thande was the powder monkey and ship's "chymist".

In offtopic:Midgard's timelines:The Devil's Own, the character of Thomas Anderson is based on Thande.

There are also several different characters based on or named after Thande in offtopic:Chris's works, most obviously "Professor Thande" in timelines:The Multiverse War series.

The character of High Consul Tomas Andersen in offtopic: GTD Aquitaine's Our Watchword Evermore is (loosely) inspired by Thande.

In offtopic:Max Sinister's timelines:Chaos TL, the Technische Hochschule Argentinien/Neustadt für Delizierung und Eisenverarbeitung, short: T.H.A.N.D.E. (meaning: Technical university/college of Neustadt/Argentine for refining and iron processing.) was named in his honour.

Appeared in Dial M for Elastic as Sir Thomas Ribb-Tikkler Thande.

Appears in cameo roles in Doctor What's Extinction Event and Snake Oil as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

In offtopic:Sargon's timelines:Be Careful What You Wish For he appears as Thomas Anderson, a BBC telejournalist (in a twist of irony considering his views on the BBC system of measurements) who gets mixed up in the Commander's plans whilst on location in East Asia.